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This article is a transcript of the Fairly OddParents episode "Hard Copy" from Season 4, which aired on November 14, 2004.


Script

[FADE IN: EXT. THE TURNER HOUSE - DAY]

[INT. TIMMY'S ROOM WANDA floats next to TIMMY as he reads.]

[Timmy looks up.]

[ON WANDA - She poofs up some sizzling BACON STRIPS.]

[Cosmo licks his chops. Wanda poofs up some more MEATY THINGS.]

[Juandissmo appears.]

[Wanda throws the bacon into a DOG CRATE. Cosmo chases it and Wanda shuts the cage. Cosmo rattles the door cage.]

plane. He even gives it a kick.) Look at this thing! It's foolproof! (poofs himself back in the cage and shakes the door.) I'll never get out!

[Tired of the game, Wanda poofs up a MAGICAL COPY MACHINE. It's basically a Xerox machine with a wand antenna.]

[Wanda hits the WISH-BUTTON on the copier and poof! FLIPSIE flies out the OUTPUT TRAY and Timmy catches it.]

[Wanda and a <<SCREAMING>> Cosmo Poof O.S. As we DISSOLVE TO: INT. TIMMY'S ROOM - LATER CLOSE ON Flipsie. It does nothing.]

[It just sits there. Timmy looks at the catalogue.]

[WIPE TO: Timmy has copied the entire catalogue. It's a huge pile of RC CARS, DINOSAURS, STUFFED TOYS, etc. Smash! A PING-PONG TABLE joins the pile. ON TIMMY - He's bouncing on some TRAMPOLINE SHOES and copying stuff like a mad scientist. He <<laughs>> like one too.]

[DISSOLVE TO: EXT. FAIRYWORLD - FAIRY GENERAL HOSPITAL - SAME Pan off the FAIRYWORLD SIGN to FAIRY GENERAL HOSPITAL. INT.EXAMINING ROOM- SAME Wanda reads, "FAIRYWEEK" while Cosmo, in his cage, is hooked up to ANALYSIS MACHINES with TUBES stuck everywhere and can't talk. Suddenly super handsome DOCTOR RIP STUDWELL and TWO NURSES enter the room <<LAUGHING>>.]

[The laughing stops, and they all get serious.]

[The nurses react in shock. Cosmo spits out his RESPIRATOR.]

[The APRIL FOOL POOFS in wearing a LAB COAT and JESTER HAT.]

[CUT TO: INT. TIMMY'S ROOM - LATER Pan across a SMORGASBORD of HALF-EATEN GOURMET FOOD, PASTRIES and CAKES. Stop on Timmy as he presses the wish button, then runs in front of the copier output tray, puts on a BIB, opens wide and POW! He's gloriously hit with WEDDING CAKE.]

[Timmy presses the ENLARGE button, slaps the catalogue on the copier and Poof! A life-size DARK LASER appears.]

[PAN TO: Dark Laser. He starts to breathe his <<HEAVY BREATH.>> He's alive and looks at the copier.]

[Dark Laser slaps the "SPACE WARS" POSTER on the copier. Click! IN THE CORNER OF THE ROOM appears an EVIL SPACESHIP and FOUR METALLIC BALLS that unfurl to reveal they are DESTROYER DROIDS. (i.e. those cool death-pods from Phantom Menace)]

[CUT TO: INT. FAIRYWORLD - DR. RIP STUDWELLS OFFICE - SAME Dr. Rip Studwell is <<laughing>> a fake soap opera laugh with three pretty nurses. He's curling some BARBELLS.]

[Dr. Rip drops the barbells, <<CRASH,>> and gets very serious.]

[POOF! Wanda is gone. The Doctor poofs up GOLF BAGS and GOLF OUTFITS for himself and his nurses.]

[CUT TO: EXT. THE SKIES OVER DIMMSDALE - SAME Dark Laser's SPACESHIP hovers over a very cartoon-charred out ruin of the city. LASERS rain from the sky!!!]

[INT. DARK LASER'S SPACESHIP At the controls of the ship.]

[ON A TV - CHET UBETCHA REPORTS FROM THE STREETS OF DIMMSDALE]

[Behind Chet, Destroyer Droids blast the city from the street.]

[PULL OUT OF THE TV to reveal we are in TIMMY'S ROOM.]

[Two Destroyer Droids crash into Timmy's room, unfurl and target some nasty LASER CANNONS at him.]

[The Destroyer Droids blast lasers at Timmy, but Poof! Wanda appears and waves her WAND like a light saber and reflects the laser blasts back at the Droids. They explode.]

[Wanda aims her wand out the window. INT. DARK LASER'S SPACESHIP His ELECTRON-SCOPE locks on Timmy's house and snap-zooms into a laser image of Wanda in the window. INT. TIMMY'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS ZAP! Like a lightning bolt, Wanda is charred from the sky and her wand crumbles like a burnt matchstick.]

[They both look at each other and look at the copier. CUT TO: INT. TIMMY'S ROOM - A LITTLE LATER Timmy and Wanda enjoy some dessert. Timmy grabs the "Space Wars" poster.]

[CUT TO: INT. TIMMY'S ROOM - MOMENTS LATER Timmy sits in the COCKPIT of a STAR FIGHTER, an R2-like Droid is being loaded.]

[EXT. CITY HALL - SAME A Droid arrives in front of CITY HALL. THE MAYOR and CHOMPY put up their dukes.]

[Chompy <<bays>> as the Destroyer Droid draws lasers. The Mayor and Chompy surrender quickly.]

[In the sky, Timmy's Star Fighter is fast approaching]

[Chompy <<cheers>> and the Mayor takes the KEYS back. EXT. CITY STREET - SAME Droids are chasing terrorized citizens. Timmy's Star Fighter blasts them all away. INT. STAR FIGHTER COCKPIT - SAME Timmy's DASHBOARD flashes red. "POD ROCKETS: ZERO." Timmy radios down to Wanda. She appears on a MONITOR.]

[INT. TIMMY'S ROOM - SAME Wanda grabs the poster - We see a MISSILE on one of the SHIPS.]

[The ROCKETS fly out of the copier and out the window. INT. STAR FIGHTER COCKPIT - SAME The pod rocket meter fills up to 100.]

[INT. DARK LASER'S SPACESHIP - SAME Flipsie flips on the dashboard. Dark Laser chuckles.]

[INT. STAR FIGHTER COCKPIT - SAME Timmy is flicking some switches.]

[Timmy's Star Fighter is hit by Dark Laser. On the dashboard "ENGINE #1 - OUT" flashes. Timmy looks. Flames billow from his RIGHT-SIDE ENGINE.]

[INT. TIMMY'S ROOM - SAME Wanda watches Timmy on the copier's menu screen.

[Wanda slaps down a picture of the Star Fighter and presses the wish button but the menu screen reads - "Wish Jam! Wish Jam!"]

[EXT. THE SKIES OVER DIMMSDALE - SAME Timmy is dodging laser blasts.]

[INT. TIMMY'S ROOM - SAME Wanda works on the jam.]

sport! Whattya need? [On the menu screen Timmy is dodging blasts.]

[The copier menu reads "warming up".]

[EXT. THE SKIES OVER DIMMSDALE - SAME Dark Laser's ship fires on Timmy's. Timmy weakly barrel rolls to avoid the blast. He takes another hit.]

[INT. TIMMY'S ROOM - SAME. Wanda is relaxing, eating some WEDDING CAKE. The line on the "Warming Up" meter is almost full. INT. DARK LASER'S COCKPIT - SAME Timmy's Star Fighter appears in an infrared scope. Dark Laser tries to get a lock on him.]

[INT. TIMMY'S ROOM - SAME The copier menu screen flashes "READY."]

[EXT. TIMMY'S STAR FIGHTER - SAME Only HALF AN ENGINE appears on the wing and only HALF A SODA appears in his hand.]

[INT. TIMMY'S ROOM - SAME The menu screen flashes "Out of Toner"]

[INT. TIMMY'S STAR FIGHTER COCKPIT - SAME Timmy sees Dark Laser's ship right on his butt.]

[INT. DARK LASER'S COCKPIT - SAME Dark Laser locks on Timmy's Star Fighter.]

[Pow! Dark Laser's ship takes a hit! INT. COSMO'S DOG-CAGE - SAME Cosmo is at the controls of his dog-carrier but he's customized it into a MILLENNIUM FALCON-LIKE STARSHIP.]

[INT. STAR FIGHTER COCKPIT - SAME Timmy, and Wanda, on the monitor, cheer.] ↵WANDA AND *Timmy: Cosmo! [INT. COSMO'S DOG CAGE FALCON - SAME]

[He hits the button. OUTSIDE THE CAGE - Cosmo's wand blasts Dimmsdale. A MAGIC WAVE sweeps over the landscape repairing all the fires and damage. The wave then catches up to Dark Laser's ship. INT. DARK LASER'S SPACESHIP - SAME Close on Dark Laser's face.]

[MATCH CUT TO: INT. TIMMY'S ROOM - LATER. Pull out from Dark Laser's face. He's back in the Space Wars posters but holding Flipsie. Timmy's room is back to normal. Cosmo then poofs the magic copier away.]

[Sure enough Cosmo now has Flipsie the flipping dog in his head. It does a flip. They all laugh. Timmy grabs it.]

[IRIS OUT on Flipsie]

[The scene iris out.]